Eight things you need to know before choosing love over a career
Are you a happy hunter? Are you one of those many men and women who have opted for love and contentment over work and the stress that at times accompany it?
If yes, you have made the right stop.
Having been there and done it more than once, I thought about it and decided to take this opportunity to enlighten one more single soul who might be in the same dilemma.
I hope you find the below pointers useful in your next quest to finding happiness.
- Think, and re-think again
As vain as it may sound, I cannot stress enough the importance of this. You may need to buy a notebook for penning your pros and cons on the big decision you are about to make. You will need to clearly outline the value addition that the relationship brings (will bring) vis a vis career at that particular point. At this stage, I suggest that you do some deep soul searching. Don’t tell anyone yet about your thoughts. Remember that this is your own life and you are the captain who will steer it in the right or wrong direction.
- Discuss with your partner
All of us know that when you are in love, you don’t think straight 100% of the time. It is important to have sober talks (love a side for some minutes) with your partner to discuss if both of you are ready for the big move. There are very many things to highlight and underline. It is the time to discuss wellbeing, it is the time to discuss finances, it is the time to discuss living together in the same house, it is the time to be each other’s support system. Are you both ready for that? If yes, then you are ready for the next point.
- Share with a close friend
Yes you may be the captain of your own boat but never forget that friends come in handy when making big life decisions. I suggest that you find a friend who shares the same school of thought with you and who is also honest enough to whip your a** and tell you off if you are living a fairy tale life somewhere in your mind. If the friend gives you a go ahead, then it is time to let your family know. Remember, this will be received with mixed reactions and you should have all your pointers prepared and ready to win your family over.
- Time to speak to your boss
This was the most difficult part for me.I have been so lucky to have worked with some of the best PR industry captains in Kenya. They had very high expectations on me and breaking the news to them was really a blow on me as well I must admit. I really wanted to stay but then it’s never easy to have it both ways. As you do this, remember to keep all your relations intact, you never know when you might come back crawling like a prodigal son/daughter.
- Have a serious look into your bank account
Ladies and gentlemen, choosing love over career is an expensive affair. You have to make sure that you have some decent money before making this decision. Relocation for me was an expensive affair. I remember transporting all my staff to my mums and sending some of my personal items by DHL and post office to Italy. Trust me, you need to be well prepared for this. You must also have some emergency money to keep you going during the first months as you settle in your new environment.
- Visa and Health Insurance
Dear fellow Kenyans, the truth of the matter is that our passport does not allow us to walk in and out of any country (oh well apart from these countries.) So, if you are in pursuit of love in a different country that is not in the list of the eighty, you have to be sure that you are able to get a visa that will cover you for the entire period and in a timely manner. The application process is not always a walk in the park , but if you have all the required documents, embassies are the most efficient institutions ever.
Ps: Do not forget to take health insurance. Hospital bills out here cost an arm and a leg.
- Find yourself something to do before packing
You will thank me later for this. I repeat: DO NOT leave your country of domicile before finding something to do in your next country. This is vital because it is the only thing that will give you some sense of sanity in all the chaos involved while changing environment. It is the only move that will cushion you from frustrations and will also ensure you do not become the nagging idle partner .
Last but most important,
- You CANNOT eat ‘love’
I know we are all in love and love feels amazing! But then, let us be REAL, can we? We always joke with my friends that when poverty knocks at the door, love quickly escapes through the window.
Remember, just because you chose love over career, does not mean you can’t pick up from where you left and find yourself a new job in your new home. There is no one who loves having a partner who does not have financial bargaining power. So once you settle down, it is time to go back and pursue that career.
All said for now,
I wish you well in your quest and hope the above has come in handy and that the next time you are looking at joining the club, you will have this checklist as reference:-)
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